Monday, July 25, 2011

What Apple Eats

The Apple Apple.

This is an apple from Apple. It's organic, of course. If you work at Apple HQ, they're free. If you're invited by an Apple employee, they're also free. No, it's not a Macintosh; it's a Royal Gala. (?!) Go figure.

The Apple cafeteria is really spiffy. There's a wood-burning oven for pizza, a burrito station where you can custom order the burrito of your dreams, Northern California style. Roast chicken, both for in-house dining and to-go awaits, not far from the roast beef station. There's an incredible salad bar. For dessert, you can have a really nice coffee flavored cake or sorbetto. There are gleaming steel and plastic machines capable of brewing your favorite blend from Starbucks.

Maybe you can have other things on other days. I don't know, since I was only invited there once for dinner, by a friend who is an employee. "Lunch is even better," I was told. There were a lot of covered grills on the patio, apparently put to use only during the midday meal. There was also a full wood-burning oven on wheels, giving new meaning to the term "to go". I never did find where it actually goes, though. It was just parked next to the grills.

That's the only way into this sanctum in Cupertino. The general public has to content themselves with the Company Store, where they can buy clothing apparently not available at the normal Apple Stores. I don't know, since we arrived six minutes too late and they would not even let us in for a look. So, I got a look at a lawn, some trees and a cafeteria. I could also see balconies where the Malus Elite no doubt gather to concoct exotic blends of silicon and software to amaze and delight the faithful.

Just so you know you're at Apple, there is an iPad built into the wall. If you try to turn it on, it will say, "This iPad is disabled". Rather cryptic, but then I should have known better than to stick my fingers into strange iPads. Below it is a "beer bash" button. I have no idea what it did, and didn't want to get my friend fired by pushing it to satisfy my curiosity. Does it bash beer? Is a beer bash like a monster mash? Does it run Lion (OS 10.7)? Only the inner cognoscenti are privileged to know these deep secrets; my friend was sworn to secrecy and could not utter a word.

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